LOVING KINDNESS MEDITATION
Mindfulness is paying attention on purpose with awareness without judgement. It takes practice just like any activity does. So, just like you need to practice making 3-point shots on the basketball court repeatedly (sorry, I have March Madness on my brain)! You do the same with mindfulness. Practice makes progress. News flash- perfection does not exist.
The good news is that thirty seconds to 20 minutes a day is plenty for practice and you choose what time-frame and types of mindfulness exercises feel good to you. Three of my favorites are eating a Hershey kiss mindfully, watching the flame of a candle flicker in the dark, and focusing on my breath, which helps to anchor me.
When I started to meditate, I thought the point was to free my mind from all thoughts and reach a Zen-like state. But then after becoming educated about mindfulness I realized that the goal of mindfulness is to be aware of your thoughts and then gently bring your mind back to whatever you are paying attention to. If it is your breath, a lit candle, a rose bud, or a babbling brook you use the same skills to be mindful and build that part of your brain.
Mindfulness decreases anxiety and depression. It builds self-compassion and self-awareness. It helps us to live our lives in the present moment instead of pin-balling back and forth to the past or the future like a round pinball in a game. Other benefits include self-control, affect tolerance, enhanced flexibility, mental clarity, and the ability to relate to others and oneself with acceptance, kindness, and compassion. Here are the skills of mindfulness:
THE WHAT SKILLS
- Observe
Simply notice the moment like you are watching your life go by through a camcorder. Notice your body sensations. Pay attention on purpose.
- Describe
Put words on your experience. Label a feeling as a feeling. Label a thought like a thought. Unglue your interpretations and opinions from the facts.
- Participate
Fully participate and become one with the present experience. Throw yourself completely to the moment and go with the flow.
THE HOW SKILLS
- Non-judgmentally
See, but do not evaluate it as good or bad. Let go of evaluation and judgment. Focus on the facts, not your interpretation.
- One-mindfully
Focus on one task at a time. When your mind wanders gently and purposefully bring it back to the present. Believe me, multi-tasking does not work! Let go of distractions and concentrate your mind.
- Effectively
Do what works. Act in accordance with your short-term and long-term goals. It is better to be effective than right! Practice being willing and skillful.
LOVING KINDNESS
Loving kindness is a mindfulness practice to help increase love and compassion for ourselves, for our loved ones, for friends, for people we find difficult, for enemies and eventually to the whole universe. For most, it is easiest to start the practice for a loved one or a pet. For me I say this practice for my four nephews who light up my life and to my goldendoodle, Maverick.
Here are the steps:
- Choose a person that you care about – someone you would like to send warm wishes to.
- Sit in a comfortable position with your palms open on your lap and start taking three deep breaths. Ground yourself into the moment and then go back to a normal breath pace.
- Repeat the following script (or something like this) out loud or to yourself while focusing on each meaning of the word:
May (the person) be healthy.
May (the person) be safe.
May (the person) be happy.
May (the person) be free of suffering.
- When your mind wanders, which it will, notice where your brain has gravitated to and then gently and purposefully return to the words of the practice.
- Continue to practice daily sending warm wishes to loved ones, friends, family, yourself, and eventually to those who are difficult or with whom we are angry.
Please reach out to me at mereditheob@gmail.com or click on my websites: https://www.recoveryfromanorexia.com and https://www.meredithobrienlcsw.com
Find me on Instagram at ed_recovery_mo.
Please keep in touch. A new book that I had the honor of writing a chapter for is getting published in April 2024. Holistic Mental Health Volume 2: Calm, Clear, and In control for the Rest of Your Life. I wrote Chapter 10 on how to incorporate joyful movement into eating disorder recovery. Please click this link to be part of our book launch team!
https://lauradifranco.com/holistic-mental-health-launch-team/
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